ADHD Made Me Do It

Survive Life with Laughter

The Saving Graces Of My Heros Eminem and The Beatles

on July 3, 2014

Today my ADHD almost got the better of me! If it wasn’t for the eloquent words of the musical worlds apart Eminem and The Beatles….I may have still been on the road leading up to Canada’s most north of the north!

I find myself questioning more and more….what’s wrong with the world today? I’m almost on the verge of an opinionated answer….and then comes up this f@cking shit shit joke of a show!! And for just a split second….or well more like 30 seconds…this doctor and my ADHD almost got the better of me in this joke show….almost lost my comic show value there….but rest assured my trusted followers (no I’m not starting a cult or massive protest…..yet) I am not allowing the evils of this shit show world to overtake my pleasantness goodness positive me!!!!

What has me all in a tizzy that only crazy rapper and old time magical musicians can talk me off the ledge? I went to another medical doctor today……and I was left with a feeling of AAAARRRRRGGGGGGHHHHH and the need to speed (thankfully while I was driving down the motorway at over 145kms….there were no police to add to my affliction)!

Right…let me stop the raving for just a moment to let you have a better understanding of why I’m raving mad today….and perhaps you too will be just as ravingly mad too.

So, today was supposed to be the positive results reading day with my family doctor….she has been supporting of my alternative treatment path and actually wishes me good luck genuinely after every visit (I visit her often these days to request tests and read test results and discuss referral refusals from hospitals). Imagine my excitement….as you have read I have been beating the unbeatable greedy bastard tumour….so I was naturally excited to share this news with my supportive doctor. I was anxiously impatiently awaiting to get a hold of the paper report results from the ultrasound (the one report that will show the actual reduction in tumour size from the professional radiologist perspective).  This morning tho, I get a disturbing message that my family doctor appointment is cancelled because my family doctor has been admitted into the hospital herself. I almost wish they would’ve told me where so I could go and rescue her from this medical system shit joke show!

Upon calling the office to find out what to do now, the receptionist tells me that I can meet with the walk in doctor, “he is really nice and has been helping with following up medical reports, but you will have to get here now”. Fine fine I say and rush through my morning routine to get out….still with worry in the back of my mind of how my family doctor herself is doing.

As I get to the doctor’s office….surprisingly it’s a short wait to get into the room to have another short wait….but they can’t bring me down because I know it’s gonna be good good good news and worth the wait wait wait!

For sure this doctor was a little shocked and stunned when sitting across from me…..I was barely able to sit still in the chair and just spewed everything in my head….course he only asked one question “how can I help you”. I explain that I require review of results and another blood test and ultrasound requisition….as he can see in my secretive file I get monthly tests. He then decides he needs a couple minutes to try and decipher what I am actually saying. He then asks “do you have breast problems?” Breast problems????? Yes sir, I have the breast cancer as clearly indicated on my file, the blood results, the ultrasound….and what I have just finished explaining to you!!!!

I have never felt so frustrated…..and I have been in and out of various doctors with various opinions for some time now….but this guy was a true dipshit jerk-face idiot!!! He then proceeded to tell me that I should have a specialist and he could refer me to someone. Hahahaha…..perhaps it was rude to laugh in his face…but really….again with my file in front of him, he should see that I have already been refused by hospitals for a specialist. I ask him if it’s ridiculous to request a second opinion after the first opinion had me dead, undead, slightly dead, assumptions of malignancy and benignancy all within a 5 week span….I ask if he himself wouldn’t want a second opinion…..to which he says yes of course…and then says I should write to the college to complain.

I’m wondering if the actual cancer will be so afraid of the letter to the college that without treatment it will just run out of my body for fear of a letter I might right to the cancer god?????

He then says “you’re complicated”…..hahahaha I laugh in his face again. Now if I didn’t laugh….im sure that I would be requesting a friend type this from the plexiglass visiting area of a jail….i wanted to hit this doctor…but like headlock him and punch the nonsense shit out of him….and I am the least violent person! Anyways, I calm down and explain that I have already been refused specialist service and forced to take medical treatment into my own hands….have signed up and successfully been receiving treatment from a homeopath. Well that bruised his ego some….now it’s a pissing match of what medical treatment is better.

After acknowledging that he is not a homeopath or specialist….he carries on to explain that I “need surgery and there is no way you will get rid of it alone…..ultrasound is no matter because they don’t pay attention to size….and by your blood results, well everything is elevated and it indicates that your cancer is aggressively spreading and I could refer you to a surgeon”. Oddly enough his idea of a surgeon was the very same first surgeon I had seen who also told me I am not a candidate for surgery and pretty much dead.

Well well dumbass doctor you can’t scare me, or all you other doubters, haters and nay-sayers…..you are not thunder and definitely not God!! ADHD is getting the better of them….all these challenges will leave them deathly speechless when I have successfully rid myself of the cancer while still keeping my cells, immune system, hair and mind intact!!

Now, I’m sure he could see that I have had enough of this consultation, so he starts making his move out the door. But wait, I have come here for a particular reason and would like to have a copy of my reports and also new requisitions. Well, how dare I try to invoke my intelligence and confidence…..he refused me the ultrasound report and gave me a print out of the blood results I already have….he then gave me a blank blood requisition….so apparently he the expert doesn’t want to run tests to check on all the elevated previous blood results and markers…..numpty lazy doctor!!!

In my fury….I drive out to the homeopath clinic…..at mach speed something way past the speed limit! I’m so frustrated it is written all over my face and all the support group patients trying to figure out what happen to me….the perma smile is now smiling with something sinisterly dark…the dark being me plotting revenge I will never physically act out!! I speak to Elizabeth…and bless her soul as she tries to calm me down…tries to tell me that anger and frustration will not help me any…..she gives me a hug and another hug and finally on my way another hug!

I meet with the doctor…..whom I am sure is concerned for his safety……but I can’t very well punch out all my doctors! He asked me to go over the whole conversation with the doctor…and then tells me he has the right to refuse me paperwork and requisitions because he is only covering for my doctor….he then says not to worry too much as he may have another doctor supportive of alternatives….only if my doctor doesn’t return. No solutions here I am ready to run out and continue my mach speed journey!

Elizabeth…..I believe knowing that I would calm down if I could help someone else out…..asks me to talk to another new client about juicing and treatment. She was right…..I no longer worry about me….this fellow needs to know about juicers! Apparently, he and his wife were here to visit his mom…they live in Costa Rica full time….but having received his cancer diagnosis 2 days before leaving Costa Rica…..he was little lost on what to do. He asked what have I done so far….and well just having vented my doctor’s appointment told him I refused anything that wasn’t natural and now am being refused monitoring and consultations. Thank you Cory for disputing the doctors with me and reassuring me I have made the right decision!!!

Back in my car….amazingly I am again frustrated….and so the speeding begins. Seems one of my ADHD management techniques is motion……I could be calm calm calm in motion….mind the faster the motion the better it seems! Here’s were Eminem and The Beatles come in….stress relieving energy dispersing head bopping tunes with words to ring true!! All I can say is that “Ob La Di Ob La Da…Life Goes On….and Being For The Benefit Of Mr. K……Let it Be….because I Feel Fine…. living in this Octopus Garden”

As for the moving forward…..well a little quote from Eminem is best way to put it:

…’Cause sometimes you just feel tired, You feel weak and when you feel weak

You feel like you wanna just give up, But you gotta search within you

You gotta find that inner strength, And just pull that shit out of you

And get that motivation to not give up, And not be a quitter

No matter how bad you wanna just fall flat on your face and collapse…

…Till the roof comes off, till the lights go out

Till my legs give out, can’t shut my mouth

Till the smoke clears out, am i high? Perhaps

I’ma rip this shit till my bone collapse…

I will be proving to the medical world…and myself…and the world that I am not dead or as far gone as everyone wants to egotistically think….and so I will succeed through this maddening Bad Ass Dash 7 km obstacle course in my local area to prove that my brains, body or bones are nowhere near collapsing….poor poor weakness will die out with all my motivated strength…..and the only place left for weakness is come out in my wheatgrass oxygenated green poo!!!!!!

And now…I’m taking Eminem and the Beatles out for a rollerblading session in the rain….. motion calmness bring it on!

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