ADHD Made Me Do It

Survive Life with Laughter

Happy Anniversary Dumbass!!

on May 16, 2014

First and foremost, it is important to recognize and hand out well deserved props and high fives all round for the amazing impulse control progress I had made between the years of marriages!

I will also recognize here that I probably also deserved all the chaos that resulted from these marriages as well….

I am a survivor though and know how to take my lumps!

Anyhow, I haven’t actually spoke to or seen my bigamist dumbass husband since the month after we married….but it is one of my AHDH milestones ….my second impulsive marriage came after many years of impulse control…..17 years of control to be exact….and a much longer courtship of 2 months….first marriage was a 4 day courtship.

At this point, I do wish I could say there was loads of substance misuse (in the form of drunken stupors) to justify my actions…but I can’t lie for shit…and so I honestly tell you there was no substance related mental deficiencies’.

So, how did I end up married and joint owner of a timeshare with a bigamist dumbass…you ask?  There was no on-line dating site involved for this one…only some creepy facebook creeping on his part…mixed with some dishonesty from a so-called friend of mine who was a friend of his!

Step One:  My supposed so-called friend of 20 years tells me that his friend and work colleague has seen me and would like to get to know me better.  Couple days after I hear this, I get a facebook message from this Dumbass telling me all sorts of nicey niceness and asking if I want to meet up sometime.  Course I would love to meet up with a boy….I had been single since returning from England in 2006.

Step Two: Dumbass wasted no time and drove out to my parents’ house within hours of his first facebook creeping me (yes I was living in my parent’s house at the time but they were out of the country).  I thought this was the nice gesture that he was willing to drive over an hour to visit me…I learned later that he was actually scamming his workplace for the kms and gas to drive out to me.

Step Three: Actively dating for couple months – easy enough while I am working in Toronto….so I spend more time at his place then he spends at mine – just got possession of my broken home and in renovation process and he has never stepped foot in my house.  I actually cooked him dinner couple times…and he even took me to meet his sister and her family while she was in the hospital.   Also my so-called friend was singing Dumbass’ praises…explaining how he is such a super nice guy getting screwed by his separated wife (they both told me she was a clingy mooching alcoholic).  Dumbass was also in the process of setting up his own UFC management company….I thought I hit the jackpot with an ambitious, intelligent, sweet fella!

Step Four: Here is where I will put some blame on my UK sista Vicky – she was supposed to come on this vacation with me but couldn’t make it in the end.  I had one of those free accommodation coupons for Las Vegas…all I have to do is attend a timeshare presentation and I get a week in Las Vegas.  In such a stupor….I ask Dumbass if he wants to come with me…seemed like the right thing to do as it was the week of his birthday.  Course he says yes, cause who passes that chance up….and since I was willing to pay for the flights till he got his paycheque…he totally played me and never paid me.

Step Five: Here we are in Vegas, and here he goes on about how he is gonna get me to marry him – because it is the thing to do in Vegas.  I told him that it wasn’t gonna happen because he is already married – separated or not he is still married.  He wouldn’t let up….constantly telling me and bugging me…and even the whole time driving to the Grand Canyon (I was so disturbed that I got lost and after hours of driving we missed seeing the big ass Canyon). I finally couldn’t take anymore of his poking prodding “im gonna, I’m gonna, just watch me I’m, gonna” and so I said that as long as he got a monkey, something to exchange other then rings and a cake of sorts…maybe I would concede.  This is where he proved that he could indeed put effort into something when he wants to…he got everything requested and so I couldn’t go back on my word….

Step Six: We purchase the marriage license at the city hall…which was super easy to acquire for the low price of $60…and oddly enough the city hall was down the street from the drive by wedding chapel…yep weddings is the thing to do in Vegas!  ImageWe showed up to the chapel….Silver Bells Wedding Chapel…and we actually explain to the chapel that this is a bit of a joke wedding…notice the clothing on our wedding day of jeans and t-shirts!  Didn’t stop the pastor of the church from going all “when 2 people find each other and love it is something special”…I think even the monkey was more aware of the farce this wedding was!

Step Seven:  Apparently, the best thing to do once you get married to a bigamist Dumbass in Las Vegas is to attend and purchase a timeshare with said Dumbass!  I am really unsure as to how this happened.  I recall being at the presentation and hearing all the wonderful things about this point system time share and being able to stay across the world for free…and then I remember requesting the down payment be placed on my British credit card – Dumbass had no money to speak of…but he was surely making plans for the timeshare…”well I could take my kids to Disney land and then she could do some girlie weekend somewhere”  It hadn’t occurred to me till later that he was planning separate vacations with my timeshare….it was also at this later time that it occurred to me that he may have married me in the hopes of accessing half my property and assets….that is mostly why I call him Dumbass…he tried to play an intelligent game but proved he’s not so bright in the end!

Step Eight:  Vacation over…and all of a sudden he is in a hurry to clean up his house and get me out of his house….he tells me that he wants to clean up for visitation with his kids.  By the way, he has 2 kids that he would see every other weekend….but his horrible wife was allowing him to see the kids during the week…yes….I can see how you are confused by this as well!  Turns out he was actually seeing his wife with the kids.

Step Nine:  Lies caught out….it turns out that the whole time we were in Vegas, he was explaining to his wife that he was in love with her and once he returned from the Vegas business trip he would be returning to her to be one big happy family.  I would’ve had no problem with him returning…if he wasn’t lying about it and trying to play both of us!  He was also lying to his UFC fighters….he had 3 fighters that he was mis-managing and actually took all their fight contract money…..Dumbass!!

Step Ten: The end!  I finally had enough of his games and so I leave his place in the middle of the night…with my cat and all….I move into my broken still under renovations house.  He calls me a few hours later to ask where I am and why I didn’t let him know I was leaving…because he was worried about me.  It would be weeks before he would speak to me again…and even on my birthday (some 2 months later) all I got was a phone call in the middle of the afternoon!

Having reached the end of my rope….I reached out to some lawyers in Vegas to see about getting an annulment and getting his name off my time share…but turns out I would need to serve him paperwork to legally remove him from my property…and the annulment was unnecessary as he was a bigamist already married and that makes our marriage null and void!

Since finding out that I would require his address to serve paperwork, and learning that he was evicted from his apartment after asking me for a loan for rent that I didn’t give since he was a lying scheming blimey bastard….I reached out to my so-called good friend to ask where Dumbass might be.  So-called friend told me that he didn’t know where he was and there were several people looking for him as he owed them all money and so-called friend knew this would happen because he knew Dumbass was an asshole.  Clearly, I am not friends with so-called friend anymore for setting me up and singing the praises of such an asshole.

Next option was to reach out to his wife…mother of his children whom he still had weekly access to….just wanting to get an address to serve the paperwork.  It was the wife accusing me of causing stress for her and her children (none of which I have met) because her husband lied to her about being in love with her and wanting her back….she decided that I was lying and she didn’t want to tell me anything and she was going to a lawyer to have me charged with bigamy.

Today, I haven’t received any court papers since…I haven’t filed any court papers….and I no longer pay for the timeshare.  I don’t think I will ever visit the USA again…fore it seems to be the place where I sniff out and engage in lots of stupid trouble….just wait till you read about impulsive marriage #1 in New York!!

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